catsbythegreat: (Default)
 Previous part. Time for the ADA and Chuuya interactions! 
  • "Atsushi had only seen him once before, when falling from the Moby Dick. " Atsushi is thinking about Chuuya here. I constantly think about how Atsushi's decision to collaborate with the Port Mafia during that arc happened because he saw Chuuya ordering his men to protect the city. 
  • “Why did you stay in the Mafia?” Atsushi is all of us. TBH. 
  • The whole conversation with Atsushi is basically him trying to find some bit of optimism to the whole situation while also trying to understand. Chuuya doesn't push him away like Akutagawa would, but he's still a fairly closed off person despite not being mean about it. I think that Chuuya and Atsushi wouldn't mind each other. But, Chuuya wouldn't really want to disclose anything to Atsushi either. 
  • Dazai is listening in because he's always listening in. And he figured Chuuya would be more forthcoming to Atsushi. And ALSO Dazai is the kind of crappy guy who would assign Atsushi to an overnight task that he himself could've done. 
  • "So who was the real Dazai, and how did he feel about Chuuya?" One of the big things I try to answer in most of my SKK fics, or at least, that Dazai struggles with. It's one of the few questions he doesn't have an answer to. 
  • " Driving happened to be the only area in his life where his ideals were loose." This about Kunikida HAS TO BE CANON. This man in S1 stopped his car across the road in the middle of traffic to take a PHONE CALL. 
  • There's a lot of headcanons about the relationship between Chuuya and Kouyou, and Kouyou and Mori. Seeing the lengths Kouyou would go to in order to get Kyouka back, I decided to make her and Chuuya's relationship close but antagonistic. Kouyou would try to manipulate him into accepting a swift death, and Chuuya wouldn't have a problem stabbing her to escape. I think the Mafia is full of weird relationships like these, where two people can be close but have no problem hurting each other when it comes down to it. 
  • Chuuya going to Ango is based on something one of the light novels mentioned (I saw this on tumblr) about Chuuya owing Ango a debt. I was like "oh they've met!" and decided to use it. 
  • I decided that Ango wouldn't clear Chuuya's files like he did with Dazai because a) they weren't as close friends if at all and b) Chuuya's Ability is far more dangerous than Dazai's and Ango would never get away with somehow losing that information. 
  • Dazai "I was going to let Mori torture you but I thought you wouldn't mind because you can handle it" Osamu is not very good with his emotions but he is VERY GOOD at completely disregarding others' emotions for the sake of The Plan™
  • Basically, Dazai never thinks about what Chuuya wants. It would be nice if he did, but I feel like Dazai not consulting anyone about the plans he's involved them in is very, well, Dazai. 
  • “I just thought,” Atsushi said, “that you talked to him, and, well, asked him how he felt about what was going on.” Catch Atsushi being passive-aggressive and calling Dazai out on his crap. 
  • I had to make Yosano more aggressively call Dazai out on his crap because I love her and she would. 
  • Re the Fyodor conversation: MANIPULATION!! Fyodor is a manipulative bastard. Also, Chuuya getting captured by Mori is something I thought would happen because Chuuya rushed back into Yokohama without a plan. And if Fyodor knew where Chuuya was, then in all likelihood the Mafia could also find him.
And that's up through chapter 13! More to come! 

catsbythegreat: (Default)
 Part 1 here. The rest of this is just gonna be me reading through the chapters and picking out things that I have to comment on! Picking up on Chapter 5: 
  • "The best he could do was brush off Dazai’s constant remarks about death and convince himself that it wasn’t real." This is a flashback, but I always wondered how Chuuya really felt about Dazai's wish to die. I think it would have scared him a lot, but since he couldn't do anything about it, he'd push it away instead of agonizing over it. 
  • "He needed to see Dazai, to have him right there and solid to know that Dazai hadn’t gone and offed himself." This line comes from a bit of a personal issue I have about fearing constantly about the death of other people and thinking that they might have died if they haven't been around for a while. 
  • When Dazai tells Ango that the kidnapped executive is Chuuya, Ango totally knows what's up. But if he said anything about it, he'd probably end up in another car accident. 
  • "He’d been told his whole life, by Dazai, by Kouyou, by Mori, by everyone he’d met before then on the streets, not to depend on other people. Yet the very nature of his Ability demanded that he depend on someone. Life was cruel like that." Honestly this is one of the things I think bothers Chuuya the most, and there's a lot in the fandom about how Chuuya depends on Dazai (and vice versa). One of the biggest struggles in writing SKK is exploring that without making it seem like Chuuya isn't independent. It's an interesting thing to play with, the idea that being dependent on others doesn't mean you aren't independent. 
  • Chuuya doesn't know about the book, and I like playing with that. Clearly Yokohama is important to people from all over the world, but to someone who doesn't know why, it must be a bit frustrating. 
  • Chapter 6: I really liked writing Atsushi being concerned about Dazai. He doesn't really have the same kind of baggage Dazai has with regards to the politics in the city, and he doesn't know much about Chuuya in canon. This poor kid just wants everyone to be okay. 
  • "Anger burned in Akutagawa’s eyes, and Dazai wondered if he felt something like betrayal at learning that someone else he’d looked up to had decided to leave." Okay, okay, I really love thinking about the relationship between Akutagawa and Chuuya. There wasn't much at the time of writing to go off aside from some official art of Chuuya being silly and Akutagawa being taciturn, but I figured that they would know each other and work together based on their rankings. Now that things like the Port Mafia Onsen drama have come out, I know that they actually do have a relationship, and reading back on this is somehow really satisfying knowing that. 
  • Again playing with things we all know but Chuuya doesn't, only the people at the Agency seem to know about Fukuzawa's Ability (and Akutagawa probably does, since he was present for Dazai explaining it to Atsushi). I think that to someone like Chuuya, who can't control a hugely useful part of his Ability, Fukuzawa's Ability is like a miracle. He wouldn't have to depend on Dazai anymore to neutralize it. And I think Fyodor, if he's as good as he's meant to be, would have the information on Fukuzawa and would use it. 
  • I have a headcanon based on IRL Chuuya that BSD Chuuya likes to write often. He keeps notebooks. Some of them are like journals and some have poetry, and they're the most private thing in the world to him. 
  • Chapter 7 starts with a flashback, and Chuuya caring for Dazai's wounds after he's been tortured, because I love the idea of Chuuya being a proper partner and patching Dazai up. I love Chuuya caring despite this being par for the course. 
  • "Pain, he didn’t enjoy despite his desire to die." Dazai says this to Atsushi towards the beginning of BSD, which is why I also headcanon that he doesn't self harm. His scars come from attempts at suicide and torture at the hands of other people. 
  • "Chuuya’s own scars and injuries would be hidden where people couldn’t see, beneath pants and layers of shirts and jackets, perhaps some days beneath gloves." Another headcanon of mine, because a lot of times people assume that Chuuya had it easy under Kouyou. I think Kouyou would want Chuuya to have the appearance of someone who got it easy, but he would need a lot of the same training and I think her cruelty would be hidden, since she would value the appearance of being strong. It's to Chuuya's advantage to look unaffected at all times, at least physically if he can't emotionally. (I also think that part of the reason Dazai wore excessive bandages was that so people would underestimate him by thinking he was injured. He kind of does this during the Lovecraft fight in Chapter 31 when he wears a fake cast.) 
  • Fyodor using bandages against Chuuya as a dig at Dazai might be my weakness. 
  • Chapter 8 has Dazai choosing to not let Yosano use her Ability on Chuuya. I think that the Agency in general probably doesn't use Yosano's Ability on prisoners unless they're about to die, because the slow recovery from injury makes it less likely that the prisoner will escape. 
  • "He wasn’t going to be the one to break first." Dazai and Chuuya both have this problem, I think, showing weakness to each other. Which leads to bad communication. 
  • Dazai says that he wouldn't have invited Chuuya to join the Agency, which I think is kind of true. I don't think that would be his first thought even if Chuuya somehow got out of the Mafia, for a lot of reasons. The Agency was Dazai's out from the Port Mafia. In a way, it's his. Having the past follow him there isn't something he would want, or it would take him a while to get to that point. 
  • At the end of Chapter 8, Dazai decides to have Atsushi watch over Chuuya because Atsushi has a lot of hope. I think Atsushi in general is really good at looking after people, because he genuinely wants to help them and make them feel comfortable. He doesn't want them to feel like he's felt in the past. And tbh, I also have a weakness for thinking about how characters who haven't interacted much or at all in canon would interact with each other. 
So that was chapters 5-8! Until next time! 

catsbythegreat: (Default)
 Once More is probably the fic I'm most proud of writing, and the longest fic I've ever completed. It's Bungo Stray Dogs, pairing Soukoku, and the summary is "Chuuya's phone is filled with messages from a partner who seems to want to get back in touch." 

I had this idea back in December, when I was new to the SKK fandom. I'd just made a twitter account for fandom, and was really excited to see what the other fans were doing on Twitter since they seemed more active there than on tumblr. I got into a conversation with a few people while on the bus to work and had this idea of Fyodor texting Chuuya pretending to be Dazai in order to manipulate him. One of the other writers liked the idea and wanted to write it, so we decided to both write a fic with this as the premise. 

So originally, Once More was meant to be a short one-shot. After I got home and started writing, I realized it was probably going to be a short multi-chapter fic. 10,000 words at most. That didn't happen. 

The first chapter is almost entirely text message format. I have a Thing™ for stories told in unconventional ways, and I'd read a few Haikyuu fics that used texts and skype to tell long stories really well. It's an interesting challenge to tell a story like that, but also it gets you inside the head of each character because you're pretending to be them texting. A majority of the fic was supposed to be in text format, but as the plot grew, that didn't happen either. Actually, chapter two already throws away the full text idea. 

Everything until the 1 December texts in the first chapter is Dazai interacting with Chuuya. Everything after that is Fyodor pretending to be Dazai interacting with Chuuya. Fyodor accessed the phone records before, and saw how Dazai interacted with Chuuya enough to be able to mimic it. Still, he's more formal than Dazai because he's Fyodor. I feel like he would be. 

The fic takes place after the whole Mori/Fukuzawa assassination attempt, which back in December hadn't been resolved at all. I had no idea Chuuya would be locked in a book for the entire time! But in a way that's better for how this fic turned out, since it means there's not much Chuuya did that I should have referenced. 

Chapter two also starts where I really wanted to make the story into a character study. (Notice how I didn't know what I wanted with the fic at first.) At that point I'd only written like one fic for Soukoku, but I really liked the idea of exploring their characters and relationship to each other. They have an interesting dynamic, but aside from two scenes in the manga and anime we still don't know much about it. That's what makes it so fun to write. 

Chapter two has this line from Chuuya's pov about Dazai: "He probably had better things to do." This is probably a really important part of my characterization of Chuuya. He wants to stand on his own two feet. He feels resentment that he's had to depend on Dazai. And being Dazai's partner, he felt responsible that he couldn't keep Dazai around. He felt and still feels that he isn't good enough for Dazai's attention, and although it isn't the sort of thing that keeps him from getting on with life, it's still under the surface. 

A few paragraphs later Chuuya thinks this: "But every day after Dazai left Chuuya’s mind kept going back to one thing: that Dazai left because Chuuya himself wasn’t a good enough partner." Even though before that, he goes through all the reasons Dazai probably left, all of them being just as valid as this one, this is the one that sticks in his mind. The next bit about it being nonsensical is also something I feel is important about Chuuya. He's self-aware. He knows that he can't control his emotions well enough and he knows that some of his thoughts concerning Dazai are irrational, and it's frustrating because he can't. And part of him doesn't want to be as detached as Dazai because he finds that kind of behavior...terrible isn't the right word, but it rubs him the wrong way. Chuuya doesn't think caring is a bad thing. 

This: “I’m sick of your shit,'” Chuuya muttered, but he kept staring at the message' sums up how I see Chuuya pretty much. CONFLICTED FEELINGS™. 

Then Chuuya starts thinking of the past, which is where my thoughts about Dazai start to come in. Dazai is really fascinating. He was absolutely horrible in the Mafia, and the only person we see behaving worse than him is Mori. In the Agency, he still retains some of his old questionable ways, but he also tries to be what a good person should be. 

In the past, Dazai says '“As gross as you are, don’t become disgusting like me. It,” Dazai’s smile tensed, “doesn’t suit you.”' It's probably something that frustrates him and scares him, that Chuuya isn't as dark as the Mafia should make him. It probably made him frustrated with Chuuya (in a "why do things affect you so much?" kind of way.) But he also didn't want Chuuya to become like him. I imagine Mafia!Dazai experienced a lot of self loathing, whereas ADA!Dazai feels more at ease with himself (not completely at ease, but more at ease.) 

In Fyodor's part of the chapter, Fyodor infers that Dazai can still feel things about and for other people (whereas Fyodor can't.) I've said this before, but I think Dazai can't do emotions. That doesn't mean he doesn't have them, but he's buried them for so long that a lot of the time he felt/feels nothing. Feeling nothing is unpleasant, but it's preferable to having emotions about people who will probably die or leave. That said, he still has emotions. He just can't process them, let alone deal with other peoples' emotions. He doesn't understand them, even if he's good at manipulating people. It makes Fyodor's job harder, but not impossible, since Fyodor is primarily manipulating Chuuya, who does actively feel his emotions. 

That's why Fyodor decides to give Chuuya info on why Dazai left the Port Mafia. By giving Chuuya the honesty and closeness Dazai never gave him, Fyodor can gain Chuuya's trust and use that against him. 

Chapter 3 is where the fic started developing an actual plot. Fyodor kidnaps Chuuya after luring him out. I kind of struggled with this part, because Dazai wouldn't offer Chuuya a place at the Agency, but Chuuya would be so thrown off by Dazai being open about why he left the Mafia that he'd want to find out what the offer was about. I don't think here that Chuuya is genuinely considering it, but that he wants a reason to see Dazai. Despite Dazai's absence, Chuuya is satisfied with his life in the Mafia and the work he's done. 

Chapter 4 starts with an Agency meeting. I love them, but they're hard to write. I find group things hard to write in general, because I don't want to forget that anyone is there, but it's also hard because not all of them are necessarily important to the conversation. 

At the end of this chapter, Chuuya is in Fyodor's hands, Mori thinks Chuuya is a traitor, and the Agency has to rescue him. Chuuya gets kidnapped a lot in this story, which someone commented on. They said they didn't like the way Chuuya was written because he got kidnapped twice over the course of the fic. I still struggle with whether or not I made the right decision, but I do think that I kept Chuuya strong despite his situation. Chuuya doesn't give Fyodor what he wants in this chapter, even though Fyodor tells him that he has nothing to lose. I find loyalty to be one of Chuuya's strongest driving forces, so it's used a lot in this fic. 

Anyway, that's it for this post! Next post will start with chapter 5. 
catsbythegreat: (Default)
 Dog Run is one of my few Soukoku fics that can be categorized as fluff. In the fic, Chuuya is a dog walker who takes Akutagawa's dog, Rashomon, to a dog park every day because Rashomon needs to be walked for an hour. While he's there one day hanging out in the Big Dog section (because Rashomon hates the little dog section) he meets a dog named Tiger and his owner, Dazai. Rashomon and Tiger strike up a friendship but Chuuya is less than thrilled to have to spend time with Tiger's annoying owner. 

This was a Valentine's Day fic and I figured fluff would be best. Also, at that point in time I was working as a dog walker in New York City. A lot of this fic is inspired by that, since that was pretty much all I was doing (besides office work) for the few months before that. 

Dog walking (and pet sitting) is actually a really interesting business. In a place like NYC, which is saturated with dog walking businesses, there's quite a bit of competition. A good portion of the people you see walking dogs are probably not the owners. And the dogs are EVERYWHERE. I was walking dogs in the last place I expected to be walking them: the Wall Street area. These were some rich dogs. 

Most of the dogs weren't allowed in dog parks for safety reasons. The owners had to sign a special waiver because off leash activity is always risky. But occasionally, some dogs were allowed in the dog parks and for some, it was actually the better option. Especially dogs who had hour long walks. 

The standard walk time for the dogs I walked was 20-30 minutes. An hour is usually for a really, really active dog, and even them lots of people would just have two half hour or twenty minute walks per day.

One dog that I ran backup for had a thirty minute walk in the morning and an hour walk in the afternoon. For the hour walk, we would go to the nearby dog park and I'd sit and watch him play in the small dog section. This dog is who Rashomon is based off of. He was a small, scraggly dog with an underbite. He looked nothing like most of the pure bread dogs, and he had an interesting personality. When I entered the apartment, he'd be standing on the couch to be at eye level with me. He barked at skateboards and he had to stop and sniff (and pee) on everything. He would also follow other dogs around but not really engage directly with them. And if another dog came over to me, this dog would also come over and ask for attention. 

Basically, he was adorable in a quirky way. That's kind of how I pictured a dog that Akutagawa would own. Rashomon is a black terrier type of dog who likes attention but doesn't like to admit it, and wants to play with the big boys but doesn't know how to socialize. 

After spending a few afternoons with my personal Rashomon at the dog park, I realized that people actually met each other there and were friends. There were a few regulars I noticed, and they seemed to have a little community going on. I thought it would make for a nice meet-cute setting, since dogs are cute and most people at the dog park are nice. 

Chuuya's reluctance to walk around with Rashomon for an hour is a very real reluctance of mine. Dog walking is TIRING and if you're walking more than one per day, walking to the different apartment buildings and stuff like that, it takes a lot out of you. Being able to go to a dog park instead of walking for a straight hour is a blessing because you can sit and let the dog have all the fun he or she wants. I don't think I've ever actually done a full hour walk with a dog without a dog park nearby. 

Chuuya doing the job to make money despite it not being what he really wants is a bit of projecting on my part. Some people genuinely want to be dog walkers as their career. It's a fun job and you get to be active. But at the same time, you don't make a lot of money and in certain cities it's not enough to live on. You can't really apply those skills to any other job. And it's time consuming and unpredictable. 

Still, DOGS! I wanted the dogs in this fic to be characters in their own right because all the dogs I've walked have had very distinct and prominent personalities. I knew that before, but I really didn't know how true it was until I started working with a bunch of different dogs on a daily basis. 

There were a lot of problems with my job, but I really enjoyed writing this fic and making it fluffy and talking about some of the nice parts of dog walking. 

a salt

Jul. 19th, 2017 06:27 am
catsbythegreat: (Default)
I kind of get annoyed when I post about something I'm planning on writing for a fic and people are like "oh yeah, that's like x chapter in x popular fic." It's not something that's going to discourage me from writing, but it's just like, I don't really care. Yes, another author might have written a similar character dynamic before, but the way I'm writing it is going to be different because we're two different people with different writing styles, characterizations, and experiences that shape how we write. 

That, and I never know the intention behind those kind of comments. I overthink things so it's like, are you saying that theirs is going to be better regardless because it's a popular fic? Are you saying I shouldn't write it because it's something that's been covered in a popular fic? Are you just comparing for the sake of comparing? Are you telling me to read that fic (to see how it's done)? 

And how do I respond? 

catsbythegreat: (Default)
 I feel like it's very easy (unfortunately) to get ignored in fandom. People tend to head for more popular fanartists/fic writers and build their communities around them, and even the more "inclusive" communities can be hard to get attention in simply because every community has someone whose art and fic people love. Fandom tends to put certain people on a pedestal, at the expense of others, and can become pretty clique-like to the point where it's hard to make friends. Every fandom is probably like this, but I've felt it in particular with the Bungo Stray Dogs fandom. I'm not sure why, but it's really disheartening sometimes. 
catsbythegreat: (Default)
 I guess I'll also use this blog to write about the process of fic writing for some fics. At least, the ones that have more interesting backstories. 

So my most recent SKK fic, Do No Harm is a pandemic AU. I say where I got the idea in the notes, but even further than that, this kind of topic of contagious diseases and pandemics is a huge interest to me. Pathology is actually also a huge interest to me. I'm not good at science and I don't know a lot of the science behind a lot of diseases, but I still find it really fascinating. 

The disease in "Do No Harm" is a hemorrhagic fever (rather than the Spanish flu as originally suggested to me.) Hemorrhagic fevers are scary because of the bleeding they cause both inside and out. The most recent outbreak of hemorrhagic fever was Ebola in several countries in Africa, and I'd say that Ebola is the most well-known hemorrhagic fever that crops up. 

There's an excellent book called The Hot Zone by Richard Preston that details incidents of outbreaks involving hemorrhagic fevers. I read this a few years ago (probably around 2012) and it became relevant around the time of the Ebola outbreaks. It provides a good look at what hemorrhagic fevers are and why their outbreaks are so devastating. 

That said, a few liberties were taken for this fic. I based the virus in this fic off Marburg virus (which is very similar to Ebola, but had a major outbreak in Germany). Hemorrhagic fevers are extremely contagious, but they aren't actually easy to spread. These viruses spread through direct contact with bodily fluids, meaning that the bodily fluids of a sick person have to get into your bodily fluids for the virus to take. However, if you do happen to have end up with infected fluids inside of you, chances are you are going to get sick. 

That method of transfer is different from, say, the flu, which is a lot more easy to transfer. Viruses like the flu can be transferred through the air, by coughing and sneezing and by inhaling particles of the virus. That means that being in the same room as someone with the flu can get you sick. Something like the flu is easier to spread, so a flu outbreak could more easily lead to a pandemic than something like Ebola could. 

The flu also lasts longer. Severe hemorrhagic fevers tend to kill off their victims faster, which gives the virus less of a window to spread. People with those viruses are also less mobile once the severe symptoms kick in, which further hinders the virus' movement. 

Hemorrhagic fever viruses can't be spread through air or aerosol (droplets in the air), but for the purposes of this fic I made it so that the virus can be spread via aerosol. Viruses that spread in this way can't travel on the air, and survive for short periods of time in droplets released into the air. It isn't as bad as the flu, but it's easier to spread than a standard hemorrhagic fever. Because the setting is Japan, which has high quality healthcare and medical facilities, I wanted the virus to be easier to spread. Even though I think something like a hemorrhagic fever would be able to spread a bit in Japan simply because they've never seen it before, which could result in delays of treatment and improper handling, I still thought the virus would have to have an easier method of spreading in order for it to have the impact on major urban areas that it did in the fic. 

The title, "Do No Harm," has to do with the promise doctors make upon becoming doctors. It's also a reference to a memoir by Henry Marsh, a British neurosurgeon, which details the complex feelings and decisions and situations that come with being a doctor. I thought that sort of sentiment was relevant to the decisions Dazai and Yosano have to make in the fic. It's surprising how often there isn't a clear-cut right or wrong answer in medicine. 

Resources for those interested in more: 
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There's a lot of people on Twitter who are really adamant that Dazai isn't happy in the ADA and would be happier in the Port Mafia because he's still suicidal in the ADA. Like really adamant. Like "suck it people who support ADA Dazai" adamant. Which is why I'm posting my opinion here!

While I think Mafia!Dazai and Mafia Boss Dazai are pretty cool in their own right, my personal opinion is that Dazai is actually happier in the ADA. That was the take-away I had from reading the manga, watching the anime, and seeing that one of the BSD creators (I forget who said this) drew Dazai with dull eyes whenever he was associating with the Mafia, and more shining eyes (that might not be the right word; life-like eyes?) when he isn't with them.

My opinion is that I think Dazai is in a better mental place and is happier in the ADA than he was in the Mafia. While he is really, really well suited to the Mafia and I don't doubt he would make a great PM Boss, I feel like the Mafia was bad for him. Oda saw this, which is why Oda told him to leave. "Maybe you'll feel a bit better." And I think, for the most part, that has held true.

Yes, Dazai still makes suicide attempts. I don't think he's suicidal. None of the ADA!Dazai suicide attempts has ever felt serious. In fact, they seem like they are made to fail--the mushrooms, the floating around in the river thing (you would tie something heavy to yourself if you were trying to drown), and barrel thing (wtf Dazai?). They're used for comedic effect.

The one time suicidal!Dazai gave me chills, and where I actually felt scared for him, was during the Dark Era. That scene where the guy holds a gun to his head, and Oda tries to get Dazai to step back, but Dazai moves forward instead, begging the man to pull the trigger. He said afterwards that he knew the man wouldn't be able to hit his target, but that was the only time I felt like Dazai hoped that he was wrong and that the man would actually be able to shoot and kill him.

So why does Dazai still attempt suicide in the ADA and why is he so vocal about it? My personal interpretation, based on the nature of his attempts in the ADA and how he acts in the ADA vs how he acted in the PM, is that he's taken on being suicidal as a personality trait. Dazai has wanted death for a long time. It's become part of him. There is probably a part of him that still genuinely does want it, and that probably surfaces from time to time, not because he's unhappy but because past trauma and depression don't ever completely go away. But I think that for the most part, Dazai uses that persona to throw people off. He uses it to convince those at the PM that he hasn't changed, and he uses it so that his enemies don't underestimate him.

No one at the ADA seems especially worried, but they do seem like the type to worry if there was something to be worried about. Kunikida and Dazai have both confronted Atsushi (who is the other person in the ADA that seems to struggle with suicidal thoughts) about his past trauma and how he handles it. They don't stand idly by if something is wrong. It makes me think that at some point, Dazai's suicidal nature has come up for the ADA, and it has been discussed, and ultimately something happened that gave them a reason not to worry about it at this point in time.

That's all opinion, and that's all my own interpretation of what's been presented so far about Dazai. It would be really interesting to see Dazai going back to the Mafia after all of this, but I also feel like it is interesting to see Dazai struggle to fit his past in with his present of trying to be (and remain) a good man. It's an ongoing struggle, and I don't think it makes him any less complex or interesting to stay on the side of the ADA.


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