catsbythegreat (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
catsbythegreat) wrote2019-01-09 07:55 am
catsbythegreat) wrote2019-01-09 07:55 am
[personal]
...so we've started off 2019 with loan problems and the possibility that I'll be left with only $300 in my account without any income to add to that amount...great. I love being anxious about more things in addition to being depressed about my inability to get employed!
Even if the money stays in my account (I can't tell -- it looks like it is but a lot of parts of my loan service account are contradicting each other, which might be an administrative issue), it's still a "you don't have enough money to be secure if something happens and you can't make more." I might open commissions to have something extra, even if I know it won't give me the amount of money a job will. AAAAAAAA this year is not starting out well at all and it's making me depressed.
I talked to my therapist about it but like with most of the things in my life that add to my depression and anxiety, it can't really be changed. It can only be managed so that I don't go off the deep end. Therapy holds me accountable for a lot of things, which is good. And meds are great. But asdkfjfdslkjdsafdsa I still feel bad and my situation doesn't help. I don't want to live at home. I don't want to have so little money in my account. I WANT A JOB. I want a career! I'm almost 27 and I've been out of school for three years at this point! LET ME LIVE!
Even if the money stays in my account (I can't tell -- it looks like it is but a lot of parts of my loan service account are contradicting each other, which might be an administrative issue), it's still a "you don't have enough money to be secure if something happens and you can't make more." I might open commissions to have something extra, even if I know it won't give me the amount of money a job will. AAAAAAAA this year is not starting out well at all and it's making me depressed.
I talked to my therapist about it but like with most of the things in my life that add to my depression and anxiety, it can't really be changed. It can only be managed so that I don't go off the deep end. Therapy holds me accountable for a lot of things, which is good. And meds are great. But asdkfjfdslkjdsafdsa I still feel bad and my situation doesn't help. I don't want to live at home. I don't want to have so little money in my account. I WANT A JOB. I want a career! I'm almost 27 and I've been out of school for three years at this point! LET ME LIVE!
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I've been there. Here's hoping things soon look up.
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I hope things look up for you this year, and in the meantime I'm sending all the hugs <3
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