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 IT'S HARD! I was thinking about this the other day because I think someone somewhere mentioned something about Kouyou's characterization being so different in fics to what is presented in canon, except it also isn't. I can see where that interpretation comes from, and it makes me think about why she's so hard to write, and it isn't just because she doesn't have a lot of screen time. 

She's a very contradictory character! She shuns love and says things that imply that people can't leave the darkness. She tries to keep Kyouka in the Mafia, but the way she does it is to frame it as though she cares about her in a sort-of-motherly way if your mother is abusive and manipulative. But then she also recognizes that the ADA is a better case for Kyouka and lets her go, and seemingly accepts the transition. She is pretty (deadly) calm and refined in a lot of scenes, but in the scenes with Kyouka she is vicious and more openly emotional. She's really selfish, almost to an extreme, until the point where she's not. She comes across as older than she is -- she's actually pretty young when you think about it. The flashback of her trying to escape shows how young and vulnerable she used to be when she was in the Mafia. 

So, it becomes hard to write her. Should she be written with an emphasis on the motherly part that cares for other people? But that comes from selfishness, as we've seen with Kyouka. She's a terribly lonely person who lost a lot and doesn't want to let go of what she has. So should the focus be on her cruelty? Even with her cruelty, she can also be kind. I do think she genuinely cares about Kyouka and from brief glimpses it seems that she cares about Chuuya (although we don't know exactly how she acted around him when he was younger except for one snippet from Fifteen.) How much calmness and refinement and deadliness should there be, and how and when should the vulnerabilities and emotional breaks be shown? How old should she act and how much of the young girl who is lonely at heart should come through? Because she was definitely given a lot of responsibility before she was old and she, like everyone else, had to become an adult way before she was actually one. 

And then there is also the problem of a lack of screen time. 

I've written her more often lately. She is actually one of the harder characters to write, and I think only a handful of Kouyou's I've read have felt like they could be her. She's a really fascinating character, but like many of the fascinating BSD characters doesn't appear a lot. That being said, it gives us a lot to explore about her, and I'm kind of interested in doing that even if it's not in a fic that focuses on her (because that kind of fic sounds terrifying -- and I actually did write one recently and it was in fact terrifying to write). I would just have to figure out who I think she is first. 
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April 2019

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